I know by the title that it may seem as though Im going to go off on another tangent about Texas folks. Quite the contrary. I want cowboy boots. I want some motherfucking Rattlesnake skin boots and I WILL get some before I leave!
I digress, Im talking about the stupid ass boots that the ladies are wearing with their jeans tucked in and the boots up to their knees with fur on them. Hold the phone...Dont call me and complain. Im sure you all are fine upstanding environmentally conscientious individuals and you do not deserve to be made fun of. However, You! You, with the shorts and or mini skirt and tank top with these boots on in FL as you park your car at the beach, YOU! Im talking to mostly to you. Where did your parents go wrong?
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Un-Welcome to Lubbock, TX!
This is certainly not my first rendezvous with the great state of Texas. Maybe, just maybe this is my first encounter with REAL Texas, as Ive been to Dallas, Ft. Worth, Humble, Houston, Temple, Belton, and its always a warm, friendly welcome. But Lubbock, sweet sweet, windy, flat, cotton gin Lubbock, you are not as friendly. I find that your residents arent quite ready for the tattooed, heavy metal Yankee turned Florida Boy quite yet. I know, I know, Jersey Shore is on the TV here and they do have the internet machine so the reason for your confusion is beyond me. I've noticed, however, that the only tattoos in Lubbock are emblazoned upon the Mexican Residents, or immigrants, not sure which, so I suppose that could have something to do with it. I understand if your view of me is that im a trouble maker. Youre right. Now dont get me wrong, Ive come across some very nice people thus far. Starbucks usually employs a culturally diverse group and they tend to be a bit more understanding than your avergae citizen. So thank you, I appreciate it! To the rest of the city of Lubbock, I'll do my best not to offend anyone. I'll keep my pants on in public, shirt on at work, and music pouring from my truck to a low rumble. I'll get this restaurant done as quickly as possible and be out of your way. Till then, keep your wranglers to yourself, and may the wind blow your stupid hats off! Eat me!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Our Natural Home Birth: Bret's Story
I come from a very conservative, traditional in way of thinking family. The thought of giving birth in my own home, with no Doctors or nurses frightned me. It was only after seeing Lauren so comfortable and confident that I agreed to hear what the Midwife had to say.
We met Kelli Johnson at her house while Lauren was but 9 weeks pregnant, and after the initial, information filled and emational visit. I was sold. It was Kelli's confidence, honesty and knowledge that was such a relief. She never ever once had to consult a book for verification of any statistics, and believe me, the statistics are abundant while trying to comfort a hesitant husband.
As our pregnancy seemed to creep at first and then fly by in the later months, I began to become so excited to have a homebirth that I cannot believe I ever wanted anything different. We saw Kelli Once a month at first and then after 7 months we began seeing her twice a month. These later visits were a reminder as to what it is we are embarking upon and how mentally and physically strong we needed to be, not only for ourselves, but for little Miss Ava. During the last visit we had at Kelli's house something was said that would come to a head later during our labor but thankfully we made a promise to each other and didnt break that promise. Kelli made me promise to Lauren that NO MATTER WHAT, no matter how unfocused she became and even though she may become a bitch, I was to remain strong and focused on our mission and ultimate goal of giving birth naturally without any drugs.
Unfortunately I was working in South Florida during the last two months of our pregnancy and when I say it was nerve racking, those words do the feelings I had, no justice. Thankfully we were able to build a beautiful restaurant on time and I was able to come home just in time to help Lauren have our baby.
It was the morning of December 16th, and when we awoke, Lauren informed me that she believed her water had broke in the middle of the night. Her concern was that there was not that much water. We cleaned ourselves up and called Kelli. She wassuper excited and told us to keep time of her contractions and call her again when the contractions were one miute in duration and five minutes apart. The contractions were very sporatic all day and when we started to wind down at the end of Thursday Laurens contractions began to fade away and stop altogether.When we woke up frustrated and concerned Friday morning we called Kelli again and our wonderfully supportive and very excited Midwife then came to our house to check on Lauren Much to our dismay, Lauren had only broken her "outer water" which is quite common and was only dilated to 2 cm. Kelli gave Lauren some homeopathic herbs to help bring back the contractions and begin to bring them closer together. It happened almost instantly. The contractions began and as the day before started quite sporadically and then as the day progressed grew closer and closer together. Here we are Friday afternoon and by now, Lauren is Stir Crazy. She has been stuck in the house in labor mode for way too long and we havent even done any Christmas shopping yet. So we decided to venture out to Hobby Lobby to accomplish something that day and by this time Lauren was contracting nearly every six minutes and they were intense. They were what the midwife described as making you unable to walk, talk or joke. THAT, is no joke. We proceeded home and ate some dinner and as the evening progressed so did Laurens contractions. 12:40am Friday Night/Saturday Morning I made the call to Kelli because Lauren had been contracting for a duration of 1 minute 4 minutes apart for at least two hourse. I woke her. I woke up[ Kelli and felt terrible but she was so sweet and said, No worries, I'll clean up and be there shortly.
Kelli arrived and begain to prep the house for the arrival of our bundle of joy, but little did we know the hardest part was yet to come. Kelli then called to come over Maggie and Priscilla who played such an instrumental part in our comfort and overall stability during the delivery. Without their patience and caring nature it would not have been possible, because I had a crazy lady on my hands. After a a few hours of monitoring and contracting and grunting and sweating, we needed to try to get some sleep. I got a couple hours but poor sweet Lauren got none.
Saturday December 18th, Kelli decided that Lauren was stuck in prodronal or transitional labor and until the baby moved her little head, Lauren would not be able dilate anymore. She was stuck at 2 cm. and still contracting for a minute long five minutes apart. This sometimes was for one minute in length and two minutes apart which by the way makes for a very long day!
Kelli was then informed that she and Priscilla needed to go because another young lady was going to give birth that day and seemed to be progressing rapidly. Lucky...!
We spent the day Saturday trying to comfort a very tired, very hungry hypoglycemic who had yet to eat and was also unwilling to eat. She told me the intensity was far too great to consume anything. Therefore her clear head and positive thoughts were riding in a clown car in the Thanksgiving Parade, in the middle of Tijuana! By mid day Saturday the 18th, which by the way is now 2 days after this all began, Lauren was ready to quit. Give in to the stress and pain and discomfort and be taken to any hospital or medical facility where they can give her an epidural. The crying and pouting and swearing was at an all time hilarious high. If anyone knows Lauren, her swearing is breathtaking. She loves to put words together that done belong. This makes her precious to me....I digress, mid day, lots of craziness and Lauren decides she is ready to quit and go to the hospital. This was it. This was the moment referred to by Kelli, where I needed to be strong. I needed to be the one thinking clearly and sticking to the goal of a happy healthy natural delivery. Well, happy was gone, but the others I can do. Holy crap. Holy crap I made that promise to Lauren without seeing my beautiful bride in misery. She had not eaten, had not slept, and was so ready to have this baby that it was very difficult to tell her she could not have what it is that she wants the most. Drugs... Ive never seen my wife like this and I did not like it. I had talked with Kelli, who, remind you, is at another delivery on the same day, and she told me she could most certainly call in to have Lauren go to the hospital, but unfortunately because Lauren was not dilated enough, they would not accept her and would most likely tell her to go take a walk. Yikes. How am I supposed to tell her this? Well, I suppose i just decided somewhere along the line that I needed to tell her it was an "order"! We must take a walk. I got her all dressed, and even prepped some cheerios and strawberries for her to nibble on as we walked. The second we stepped outside it began to downpour. Sure, Why not? We trudged through the rain and made it 10 steps at a time, to the end of our road, and back. Pretty substatial...I know. This did not help. It didnt help. We walked for nothing. And to top it off, we returned home only to have Lauren rrequest to call her father for mental support. Little did she know, that for the first time ever, he wasnt going to give her support, he was going to confuse her even more. Was she doing the right thing? Was she waiting too long? Was everyone safe? Her father told me that while Joyce, Laurens mother was in the hospital that the doctors waited too long to give Jopyce a C-section and nearly lost them. Great. How am I supposed to tell Lauren no to drugs, no to the hospital knowing what I now know. Thankfully I knew that Maggie was keeping a thorough record of Lauren and the Babies vital signs. I knew that each were healthy and not stressed. Albeit unhappy and crotchety, Lauren was ok. We decided, maybe Lauren needed to relax, watch some TV and try to snack. Mind you, contractions are still a minute long and just a few minutes apart. Miserable she was... We laid on the couch and low and behold, A Christmas Story was on. What a great movie to watch, or so I thought. I proceeded to try to feed her frozen grapes, blueberries and the sort. but to no avail. I do believe she ate a grand total of 6 frozen grapes and three blueberries. As the evening progressed we nearly sent Maggie home but thankfully we did not.
At around 9pm Saturday night, I had to let the dogs out to go the bathroom, and as I stood there waiting for each to to their deed, I looked to the sky and said a little prayer. I said please, God, let this be enough. Why is Lauren suffering so much? Please let this be over soon because she does not deserve this!
When I came back inside and laid next to the couch, the minutes passed and I suddenlt realized Lauren had been silent for way too long. Shit. Shit. Shit, is she ok, whats wrong? Nothing. She actually fell asleep. The homeopathic herbs that Maggie gave her to space the contractions out a bit had worked long enough for Lauren to fall sleep. 30 miutes passed and she slept so silently it was creepy. No movement, no twitches, no sighs or grunts. Silent. Then as if woken by an explosion she lept to her feet and needed to go pee. No big deal. I got up to get a glass of water and heard it. The sweet sound of water on water splashing. Just as I snapped my head to the right to look toward the bathroom, she said "my water broke" What? Seriously? Did I actually just hear that? Its gonna happen! Right now, it's gonna happen. Lauren finished what she was doing and then needed to let Maggie check her dilation. 9 or 10. What you say? She went from 2 to 9 or 10 in the 30 minutes she fell asleep? Yes sir! The sleep meant that the baby had moved just enough to put the right amount of pressure on the cervix to begin the rest of the dilation. As the dilation took place so rapidly the contractions stopped. Which is why she was able to sleep.
We now needed to prep the birthing tub which requires water at 99 degrees. Well shit. It had been sitting idle all day and the water was way to cold to give birth in. Here i have my wife, ready to start pushing and the dam,n water isnt ready. We had to take 4 pots of recycled boiling birth pool water non stop until the water beacme 99 degrees. Which must have looked hilarious, because Max just sat and watched us the entire time. Lena however is too much of a Diva, and was sleeping during the whole bith process. HA! Kelli was also informed that Lauren had broken her water and was now dilated completely and since the other birth had stalled also, Kelli came back to our house just in time to watch Lauren push.
Because of the amount of pressure put on the hips, I needed to put counter pressure on her back hips to relieve some pressure. Every time she contracted I pushed as hard as I could. Which I must say is disturbing because, well, I felt like I was going to break her. It worked. She pushed and pushed and could feel Ava's head moving down the birth canal. Amazing. This was actually happening. The adrenaline had kicked in and despite the fact we had not slept and had not eaten, we were wide awake. Kelli and Maggies continued to keep tabs on everyone's vitals and even helped us consume water because our bith pool was so warm we were sweating. Lauren continued to push as she laid back into my chest and with 20 minutes of pushing in the tub, a head came out and as I looked over Laurens shoulder, I could see our babies head. WOW! Lauren now asked if she could pull her out! Haha! No Lauren, said Kelli, just push the rest of the way. And with one more great push Ava came out into the water and Lauren caught her with her own hands and brought her immediately up and to our chests. Ava was wide eyed and smiling immediately. The true reason for a natural delivery. An alert strong baby. We held Ava close and cried and stared as Im sure most new parents do. we held her until the placents stopped pulsating and then Kelli clamped the umbilical cord and I cut it. I thought I would be totally grossed out by all the inside stuff i was gonna see but it was cool. I was totally cool with everything. It wasnt gross or strange at all. So after Maggie and Kelli helped pull the placenta out we both got up, cleaned off and sat on our own couch and breast fed Ava for the first time. What a natural! She grabbed that boob and shoved it in her mouth like a champ! We took a few measurements, did a little sewing if you know what I mean, and then dressed her up in her first outfit! Then as quickly as it began, the house was back to normal in an hour and a half, and we laid down in our own bed. Yes, thats correct. In 1 1/2 hours after giving a natural birth we went to sleep in our own bed. So relaxed and happy! With a beautiful, happy and healthy baby girl. 7lbs. 12oz. and 21 1/2 inches long.
We met Kelli Johnson at her house while Lauren was but 9 weeks pregnant, and after the initial, information filled and emational visit. I was sold. It was Kelli's confidence, honesty and knowledge that was such a relief. She never ever once had to consult a book for verification of any statistics, and believe me, the statistics are abundant while trying to comfort a hesitant husband.
As our pregnancy seemed to creep at first and then fly by in the later months, I began to become so excited to have a homebirth that I cannot believe I ever wanted anything different. We saw Kelli Once a month at first and then after 7 months we began seeing her twice a month. These later visits were a reminder as to what it is we are embarking upon and how mentally and physically strong we needed to be, not only for ourselves, but for little Miss Ava. During the last visit we had at Kelli's house something was said that would come to a head later during our labor but thankfully we made a promise to each other and didnt break that promise. Kelli made me promise to Lauren that NO MATTER WHAT, no matter how unfocused she became and even though she may become a bitch, I was to remain strong and focused on our mission and ultimate goal of giving birth naturally without any drugs.
Unfortunately I was working in South Florida during the last two months of our pregnancy and when I say it was nerve racking, those words do the feelings I had, no justice. Thankfully we were able to build a beautiful restaurant on time and I was able to come home just in time to help Lauren have our baby.
It was the morning of December 16th, and when we awoke, Lauren informed me that she believed her water had broke in the middle of the night. Her concern was that there was not that much water. We cleaned ourselves up and called Kelli. She wassuper excited and told us to keep time of her contractions and call her again when the contractions were one miute in duration and five minutes apart. The contractions were very sporatic all day and when we started to wind down at the end of Thursday Laurens contractions began to fade away and stop altogether.When we woke up frustrated and concerned Friday morning we called Kelli again and our wonderfully supportive and very excited Midwife then came to our house to check on Lauren Much to our dismay, Lauren had only broken her "outer water" which is quite common and was only dilated to 2 cm. Kelli gave Lauren some homeopathic herbs to help bring back the contractions and begin to bring them closer together. It happened almost instantly. The contractions began and as the day before started quite sporadically and then as the day progressed grew closer and closer together. Here we are Friday afternoon and by now, Lauren is Stir Crazy. She has been stuck in the house in labor mode for way too long and we havent even done any Christmas shopping yet. So we decided to venture out to Hobby Lobby to accomplish something that day and by this time Lauren was contracting nearly every six minutes and they were intense. They were what the midwife described as making you unable to walk, talk or joke. THAT, is no joke. We proceeded home and ate some dinner and as the evening progressed so did Laurens contractions. 12:40am Friday Night/Saturday Morning I made the call to Kelli because Lauren had been contracting for a duration of 1 minute 4 minutes apart for at least two hourse. I woke her. I woke up[ Kelli and felt terrible but she was so sweet and said, No worries, I'll clean up and be there shortly.
Kelli arrived and begain to prep the house for the arrival of our bundle of joy, but little did we know the hardest part was yet to come. Kelli then called to come over Maggie and Priscilla who played such an instrumental part in our comfort and overall stability during the delivery. Without their patience and caring nature it would not have been possible, because I had a crazy lady on my hands. After a a few hours of monitoring and contracting and grunting and sweating, we needed to try to get some sleep. I got a couple hours but poor sweet Lauren got none.
Saturday December 18th, Kelli decided that Lauren was stuck in prodronal or transitional labor and until the baby moved her little head, Lauren would not be able dilate anymore. She was stuck at 2 cm. and still contracting for a minute long five minutes apart. This sometimes was for one minute in length and two minutes apart which by the way makes for a very long day!
Kelli was then informed that she and Priscilla needed to go because another young lady was going to give birth that day and seemed to be progressing rapidly. Lucky...!
We spent the day Saturday trying to comfort a very tired, very hungry hypoglycemic who had yet to eat and was also unwilling to eat. She told me the intensity was far too great to consume anything. Therefore her clear head and positive thoughts were riding in a clown car in the Thanksgiving Parade, in the middle of Tijuana! By mid day Saturday the 18th, which by the way is now 2 days after this all began, Lauren was ready to quit. Give in to the stress and pain and discomfort and be taken to any hospital or medical facility where they can give her an epidural. The crying and pouting and swearing was at an all time hilarious high. If anyone knows Lauren, her swearing is breathtaking. She loves to put words together that done belong. This makes her precious to me....I digress, mid day, lots of craziness and Lauren decides she is ready to quit and go to the hospital. This was it. This was the moment referred to by Kelli, where I needed to be strong. I needed to be the one thinking clearly and sticking to the goal of a happy healthy natural delivery. Well, happy was gone, but the others I can do. Holy crap. Holy crap I made that promise to Lauren without seeing my beautiful bride in misery. She had not eaten, had not slept, and was so ready to have this baby that it was very difficult to tell her she could not have what it is that she wants the most. Drugs... Ive never seen my wife like this and I did not like it. I had talked with Kelli, who, remind you, is at another delivery on the same day, and she told me she could most certainly call in to have Lauren go to the hospital, but unfortunately because Lauren was not dilated enough, they would not accept her and would most likely tell her to go take a walk. Yikes. How am I supposed to tell her this? Well, I suppose i just decided somewhere along the line that I needed to tell her it was an "order"! We must take a walk. I got her all dressed, and even prepped some cheerios and strawberries for her to nibble on as we walked. The second we stepped outside it began to downpour. Sure, Why not? We trudged through the rain and made it 10 steps at a time, to the end of our road, and back. Pretty substatial...I know. This did not help. It didnt help. We walked for nothing. And to top it off, we returned home only to have Lauren rrequest to call her father for mental support. Little did she know, that for the first time ever, he wasnt going to give her support, he was going to confuse her even more. Was she doing the right thing? Was she waiting too long? Was everyone safe? Her father told me that while Joyce, Laurens mother was in the hospital that the doctors waited too long to give Jopyce a C-section and nearly lost them. Great. How am I supposed to tell Lauren no to drugs, no to the hospital knowing what I now know. Thankfully I knew that Maggie was keeping a thorough record of Lauren and the Babies vital signs. I knew that each were healthy and not stressed. Albeit unhappy and crotchety, Lauren was ok. We decided, maybe Lauren needed to relax, watch some TV and try to snack. Mind you, contractions are still a minute long and just a few minutes apart. Miserable she was... We laid on the couch and low and behold, A Christmas Story was on. What a great movie to watch, or so I thought. I proceeded to try to feed her frozen grapes, blueberries and the sort. but to no avail. I do believe she ate a grand total of 6 frozen grapes and three blueberries. As the evening progressed we nearly sent Maggie home but thankfully we did not.
At around 9pm Saturday night, I had to let the dogs out to go the bathroom, and as I stood there waiting for each to to their deed, I looked to the sky and said a little prayer. I said please, God, let this be enough. Why is Lauren suffering so much? Please let this be over soon because she does not deserve this!
When I came back inside and laid next to the couch, the minutes passed and I suddenlt realized Lauren had been silent for way too long. Shit. Shit. Shit, is she ok, whats wrong? Nothing. She actually fell asleep. The homeopathic herbs that Maggie gave her to space the contractions out a bit had worked long enough for Lauren to fall sleep. 30 miutes passed and she slept so silently it was creepy. No movement, no twitches, no sighs or grunts. Silent. Then as if woken by an explosion she lept to her feet and needed to go pee. No big deal. I got up to get a glass of water and heard it. The sweet sound of water on water splashing. Just as I snapped my head to the right to look toward the bathroom, she said "my water broke" What? Seriously? Did I actually just hear that? Its gonna happen! Right now, it's gonna happen. Lauren finished what she was doing and then needed to let Maggie check her dilation. 9 or 10. What you say? She went from 2 to 9 or 10 in the 30 minutes she fell asleep? Yes sir! The sleep meant that the baby had moved just enough to put the right amount of pressure on the cervix to begin the rest of the dilation. As the dilation took place so rapidly the contractions stopped. Which is why she was able to sleep.
We now needed to prep the birthing tub which requires water at 99 degrees. Well shit. It had been sitting idle all day and the water was way to cold to give birth in. Here i have my wife, ready to start pushing and the dam,n water isnt ready. We had to take 4 pots of recycled boiling birth pool water non stop until the water beacme 99 degrees. Which must have looked hilarious, because Max just sat and watched us the entire time. Lena however is too much of a Diva, and was sleeping during the whole bith process. HA! Kelli was also informed that Lauren had broken her water and was now dilated completely and since the other birth had stalled also, Kelli came back to our house just in time to watch Lauren push.
Because of the amount of pressure put on the hips, I needed to put counter pressure on her back hips to relieve some pressure. Every time she contracted I pushed as hard as I could. Which I must say is disturbing because, well, I felt like I was going to break her. It worked. She pushed and pushed and could feel Ava's head moving down the birth canal. Amazing. This was actually happening. The adrenaline had kicked in and despite the fact we had not slept and had not eaten, we were wide awake. Kelli and Maggies continued to keep tabs on everyone's vitals and even helped us consume water because our bith pool was so warm we were sweating. Lauren continued to push as she laid back into my chest and with 20 minutes of pushing in the tub, a head came out and as I looked over Laurens shoulder, I could see our babies head. WOW! Lauren now asked if she could pull her out! Haha! No Lauren, said Kelli, just push the rest of the way. And with one more great push Ava came out into the water and Lauren caught her with her own hands and brought her immediately up and to our chests. Ava was wide eyed and smiling immediately. The true reason for a natural delivery. An alert strong baby. We held Ava close and cried and stared as Im sure most new parents do. we held her until the placents stopped pulsating and then Kelli clamped the umbilical cord and I cut it. I thought I would be totally grossed out by all the inside stuff i was gonna see but it was cool. I was totally cool with everything. It wasnt gross or strange at all. So after Maggie and Kelli helped pull the placenta out we both got up, cleaned off and sat on our own couch and breast fed Ava for the first time. What a natural! She grabbed that boob and shoved it in her mouth like a champ! We took a few measurements, did a little sewing if you know what I mean, and then dressed her up in her first outfit! Then as quickly as it began, the house was back to normal in an hour and a half, and we laid down in our own bed. Yes, thats correct. In 1 1/2 hours after giving a natural birth we went to sleep in our own bed. So relaxed and happy! With a beautiful, happy and healthy baby girl. 7lbs. 12oz. and 21 1/2 inches long.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Do You understand the words that are comin' outta my mouth?
I have had the luxury of witnessing a new cultural phenomenon called " Im nodding yes but dont hear a fucking thing you're saying"
People have gotten so obsessed with whatever it is that is happening in their simple minds that they ignore the basic communication that occurs day to day, minute to minute.
When someone is speaking to you, listen. If you can hear them speaking to you in the same language that you typically communicate to other human beings with, acknowledge it, Listen to it and give them the respect due and answer them. Answer them with an intelligent, planned thought.
"Good afternoon, we have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite and water."
"Umm.....I'll take a Mr. Pibb"
"FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I believe that we offered you something other than what you just asked for.
If there is a 10' banner flying or hanging gently from an overhang above the patio that says "ALMOST" or "SOON"...or even has a Grande Opening Date of May 21st 2010,DO NOT, I repeat do not come in and ask, "When you gonna be open?"
Or come in and act shocked and say......."Oh, you're not open"
Even, "when ya'll gonna be open?"
Take a look around, put your fucking cell phone away. Use your damn brain, If there is a ladder you must side step to get in the front door. Chances are were not open for burrito's. If there isnt paint on the wall but there IS 6 sweaty, cursing construction workers frolicking about. Chances are were not fucking open.
Tuck your "wife beater" into your bathing suit while filling out a job application.
Speak intelligently.
If youre a bum or a crack head, please dont use the "Im 6 bucks short" routine on me more than one time. I will spit in your face. And PLEASE dont panhandle in front of me after I built a restaurant from scratch and gave you the opportunity to fill one of 22 available spots. It burns my ass......
People have gotten so obsessed with whatever it is that is happening in their simple minds that they ignore the basic communication that occurs day to day, minute to minute.
When someone is speaking to you, listen. If you can hear them speaking to you in the same language that you typically communicate to other human beings with, acknowledge it, Listen to it and give them the respect due and answer them. Answer them with an intelligent, planned thought.
"Good afternoon, we have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite and water."
"Umm.....I'll take a Mr. Pibb"
"FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I believe that we offered you something other than what you just asked for.
If there is a 10' banner flying or hanging gently from an overhang above the patio that says "ALMOST" or "SOON"...or even has a Grande Opening Date of May 21st 2010,DO NOT, I repeat do not come in and ask, "When you gonna be open?"
Or come in and act shocked and say......."Oh, you're not open"
Even, "when ya'll gonna be open?"
Take a look around, put your fucking cell phone away. Use your damn brain, If there is a ladder you must side step to get in the front door. Chances are were not open for burrito's. If there isnt paint on the wall but there IS 6 sweaty, cursing construction workers frolicking about. Chances are were not fucking open.
Tuck your "wife beater" into your bathing suit while filling out a job application.
Speak intelligently.
If youre a bum or a crack head, please dont use the "Im 6 bucks short" routine on me more than one time. I will spit in your face. And PLEASE dont panhandle in front of me after I built a restaurant from scratch and gave you the opportunity to fill one of 22 available spots. It burns my ass......
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Front Yard Fisticuffs
So I have been doing a lot of thinking about this in the past year or so. I think it started with a school mass murder or even one case of school mate on school mate crime. Regardless, I think we as a people need to go back to the way things used to be. In general, give up some of our luxuries, stop trying to be nice and making everyone happy, and tip toeing around the real problem with A:The youth, future leaders of this world, B:Criminals, C:Government Officials.
The simple problem is that there is no respect amongst men. Trouble with authority is a little less scary than a library fine, there is no accountability for ones actions towards their fellow man.
Children are taught to talk things out, "snitch" on trouble making bullies, and avoid conflict. Parents dont teach their children self defense anymore, they teach them to run away and get help. What happened to the days when if you crossed someone you went outside, possible the playground, park, sidewalk and handled your problems mano y mano? If you got whooped you got whooped and maybe just maybe you learn a lesson and leave that person alone in the future.
Instead, children are forced to ignore the ingrained sense of barbaric actions to avoid being labeled and avoid being called trouble. They keep these emotions inside, and because they cannot act out, or tattle, they store it deep down and like a sleeping volcano they suddenly erupt with violent rage, and kill 20 or so people at a High School, or a Mall, or a University. A little stress relif never hurt anybody. and neither did a good old fashioned punch in the mouth.
The same goes for todays criminals. Rappers teach them and no parents are there to tell them, that criminal behavior is not appropriate, there are consequences to your actions, and ultimately, you may wind up dead. Jail time means nothing, Police have no authority, laws are non existent, and so these youth are running wild in our streets. Im no nagel, but let me tell you, I have learned my lessons and I plan to live right in the future. But when I see news stories like the one the other day, A man was awoken to find 4 young men climbing over his fence and trespassing on his property. He warned the individuals, not to come any closer yet they proceeded to come at him. He shot them. Good for him. I would do the same.
If this becomes more common in our future the crime will go down. I guarantee it. If there is an understanding, a simple knowledge that maybe, just maybe if I attempt to break into that house, or steal something from that property, I may end up shot and wounded or dead. You bet your sweet ass Im going to think real hard about my next actions.
It is difficult to comprehend in 2010 that we actually have gone too far progressively and maybe we need to regress to a mindset of 100 years ago. The simplest of all things are currently being taken for granted. There once was a time where i really needed my ass kicked on a weekly sometimes daily basis. I am an adult now and I realize that.....who i just thought of something.
Regarding kids and their lack of respect, Whats this whole"Cant spank your kids or their going to call DCF" crap all about. Its lack of parenting, thats what. The lack of respect for authority starts at home.
Im done.....
The simple problem is that there is no respect amongst men. Trouble with authority is a little less scary than a library fine, there is no accountability for ones actions towards their fellow man.
Children are taught to talk things out, "snitch" on trouble making bullies, and avoid conflict. Parents dont teach their children self defense anymore, they teach them to run away and get help. What happened to the days when if you crossed someone you went outside, possible the playground, park, sidewalk and handled your problems mano y mano? If you got whooped you got whooped and maybe just maybe you learn a lesson and leave that person alone in the future.
Instead, children are forced to ignore the ingrained sense of barbaric actions to avoid being labeled and avoid being called trouble. They keep these emotions inside, and because they cannot act out, or tattle, they store it deep down and like a sleeping volcano they suddenly erupt with violent rage, and kill 20 or so people at a High School, or a Mall, or a University. A little stress relif never hurt anybody. and neither did a good old fashioned punch in the mouth.
The same goes for todays criminals. Rappers teach them and no parents are there to tell them, that criminal behavior is not appropriate, there are consequences to your actions, and ultimately, you may wind up dead. Jail time means nothing, Police have no authority, laws are non existent, and so these youth are running wild in our streets. Im no nagel, but let me tell you, I have learned my lessons and I plan to live right in the future. But when I see news stories like the one the other day, A man was awoken to find 4 young men climbing over his fence and trespassing on his property. He warned the individuals, not to come any closer yet they proceeded to come at him. He shot them. Good for him. I would do the same.
If this becomes more common in our future the crime will go down. I guarantee it. If there is an understanding, a simple knowledge that maybe, just maybe if I attempt to break into that house, or steal something from that property, I may end up shot and wounded or dead. You bet your sweet ass Im going to think real hard about my next actions.
It is difficult to comprehend in 2010 that we actually have gone too far progressively and maybe we need to regress to a mindset of 100 years ago. The simplest of all things are currently being taken for granted. There once was a time where i really needed my ass kicked on a weekly sometimes daily basis. I am an adult now and I realize that.....who i just thought of something.
Regarding kids and their lack of respect, Whats this whole"Cant spank your kids or their going to call DCF" crap all about. Its lack of parenting, thats what. The lack of respect for authority starts at home.
Im done.....
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Random Thoughts From Temple, TX
I like to go jogging in a new city. In the nude. Its the only real ice breaker....
Im having such a fat day I cannot even fit into my sunglasses.
Im such a "butt guy" that I'll just drive the interstate to stop at all the Rest Areas and just sit on all those public toilets.....So romantic.
That blue water in the portable toilets is not as delicious as it smells. But the corn is.
I had one of my testicles get slammed in the car door the other day. I asked my wife to please take them out of her purse, But nooooooo......
I lost my virginity at a really young age. It was a long bike ride and I needed to sit down. Fucker never called me again.....
I traded in my truck yesterday for some "Wheelies", the shoes with wheels in the heels, and two leaf blowers.
So I finally waxed my nipple hair...
Im having such a fat day I cannot even fit into my sunglasses.
Im such a "butt guy" that I'll just drive the interstate to stop at all the Rest Areas and just sit on all those public toilets.....So romantic.
That blue water in the portable toilets is not as delicious as it smells. But the corn is.
I had one of my testicles get slammed in the car door the other day. I asked my wife to please take them out of her purse, But nooooooo......
I lost my virginity at a really young age. It was a long bike ride and I needed to sit down. Fucker never called me again.....
I traded in my truck yesterday for some "Wheelies", the shoes with wheels in the heels, and two leaf blowers.
So I finally waxed my nipple hair...
Do I Look Like I want To Talk To You?
It never fails. Tight jeans, black tee shirt with an unfriendly heavy metal bands name emblazoned on the front, sometimes a backwards fitted black hat, and usually an inappropritely long goatee. My lack of facial expressions should speak for themselves, my dis-interest in all sporting events other than Hockey, specifically The Detroit Red Wings tells the tale. The fact that I do not find your tasteless jokes amusing, and therefore do not even acknowledge your existence, should be reason enough, to PLEASE DO NOT TALK TO ME. Ok, maybe my jeans are not that tight....Much to my dismay, I tend to be the one that every Tom, DICK and Harry want to tell their life story to whilst enjoying a frosty beverage at the local watering hole, or while at the grocery store, gym, gas station, I think you get the point. Dont get me wrong, the reason I want to be left alone, is because I like to listen. But I like to listen at my own pace. I dont want you to cram the details down my throat. I would like to develop at my own speed, the utter disappointment to which you so rightly deserve. I like to relax by listening to the conversations being had amongst those who are not alone at the bar. Its frightening what some people will say within ear shot of another human being. A wise man once said to me, "Dont worry dude, I know how far my voice travels"(Head) But I think that was after 6 or 7 Budweisers and one or 5 Jack and Cokes. My wife thinks its hilarious. She knows I want to be left alone, so whenever she comes to meet me for a cocktail, she is always amused at the Goon spilling his beans to my left.
Thats enough ranting about this, but if anyone has any secrets on how to be left alone. Im all ears...
Thats enough ranting about this, but if anyone has any secrets on how to be left alone. Im all ears...
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