It never fails. Tight jeans, black tee shirt with an unfriendly heavy metal bands name emblazoned on the front, sometimes a backwards fitted black hat, and usually an inappropritely long goatee. My lack of facial expressions should speak for themselves, my dis-interest in all sporting events other than Hockey, specifically The Detroit Red Wings tells the tale. The fact that I do not find your tasteless jokes amusing, and therefore do not even acknowledge your existence, should be reason enough, to PLEASE DO NOT TALK TO ME. Ok, maybe my jeans are not that tight....Much to my dismay, I tend to be the one that every Tom, DICK and Harry want to tell their life story to whilst enjoying a frosty beverage at the local watering hole, or while at the grocery store, gym, gas station, I think you get the point. Dont get me wrong, the reason I want to be left alone, is because I like to listen. But I like to listen at my own pace. I dont want you to cram the details down my throat. I would like to develop at my own speed, the utter disappointment to which you so rightly deserve. I like to relax by listening to the conversations being had amongst those who are not alone at the bar. Its frightening what some people will say within ear shot of another human being. A wise man once said to me, "Dont worry dude, I know how far my voice travels"(Head) But I think that was after 6 or 7 Budweisers and one or 5 Jack and Cokes. My wife thinks its hilarious. She knows I want to be left alone, so whenever she comes to meet me for a cocktail, she is always amused at the Goon spilling his beans to my left.
Thats enough ranting about this, but if anyone has any secrets on how to be left alone. Im all ears...
Despite many attempts at making it clear that my thoughts on human interaction are much like yours Bret. Many people don't get it.
ReplyDeleteThe comment "you don't talk much", I usually follow with "you talk too much". Then the conversation stops.
HA! Simple and genius! I shall try it next time.
ReplyDeleteThe secret to being left alone has two schools of thought, number one being if you look busy people wont bother you. text talk to someone else get a note pad and write in it. Another common thing is people use body language that leaves them open a sure fire way to be left alone is cross your arms and put on a face that looks like if anyone talks to you you're going to cut them.
ReplyDeleteThe second train of thought on this subject is people never know when to shut the hell up. So by merely telling them that you don't care to hear about the fish they caught while taking a shit will usually lead to them shutting up. try these out and if they don't work get a hearing aid at cvs and pretend to be deaf.